by Sean Coker for pdxguide.com
January 2008

While nothing was ever said, it was obvious I was no longer wanted at the cocktail party. Apparently, boat shoes and tight pants are under dressed for a black tie event. The air outside was cold and I knew storing as much Bridgeport IPA in my system was the best defense against the bitter chill, so I kept drinking even as the host shook my hand. I slammed another beer, grabbed my motorcycle helmet. Luke was waiting outside with his sister Lisa, who was ready to go eat.

"The Montage?" Luke suggests. "Argh," I reply but concede despite being us knee-deep in the West Hills. Not long ago, The Montage was staple stop on a Friday night-the place to see and be seen. Long lines snaked out the door and ran beneath the Morrison Bridge until 4 a.m. on weekends. I motor off while Luke and Lisa follow down the West Hills and across the Willamette. We head southbound onto SE Martin Luther King Blvd. towards the spot hidden under the Morrison Bridge. The Montage is known for their long community tables and surly servers as they are for Cajun food.

Traffic noise punctuates the potholed SE Morrison Street and neon lights reflect off puddles. We walk inside to a restaurant half full but bustling with the soundtrack of incoherent music and intoxicated patrons. We seat ourselves and bread and butter plates are placed on our table by our busser Joe. Requesting a round of beers (ranging from $3-$4 each), I notice how the low lights create soft shadows around Lisa's eyes. A large cubist painting of The Last Supper hangs against the eastern wall.

Known for their mac and cheese, The Montage, open until 4 a.m. on weekends, has gained a reputation for being a late night eatery, serving up quality food at low prices. Although the menu has fine dining items such as alligator and blackened salmon, my hunger can only be quenched by Spold Mac-a combination of spicy and old style macaroni. The Old Mac has garlic, heavy cream and parmesan whereas the Spold Mac has spicy gravy, jalapenos, tomatoes and parmesan. The creamy, melted cheese offsets the jalapeno spice and the tomatoes turn the meal into an amazing quesadilla of flavor. Mac ranges in price from $6.25-9.25 depending on whether you want meat or not. My waiter molds my leftovers into a tinfoil sculpture of a falcon.

On another visit, after 2:30 a.m., Luke and I attempt the Montage near sober. We ask our host Joe, whom we met from the night before, for great seats and he proceeds to seat us nearest the door. After a minute or two of no service we move to seats at the bar. Our waitress explains that we ought to not move ourselves but then passive-aggressively concedes that we are still in her area. We sit at the bar and stare into the kitchen, watching the cooks rocking out to death metal, and ask for extra cornbread and honey. We order the same as the night before.

At 3 a.m. the cooks put on some serious rock music at the expense of all within earshot. We ask for more cornbread. My Spold and Luke's Spicy Mac were considerably spicier and there was less emphasis on presentation, but at this hour of the morning, who cars?

I stopped going to the Montage because the service was to be so bad. Lately the service has been pleasant and tolerable, but the attitude you bring makes all the difference. Show up buzzed and talkative and you are guaranteed a great time but if loud music, overly dim lights and sitting close to strangers is not your forte, then consider somewhere else.

Lisa asks for a ride on the motorcycle. I have only one helmet, but concede, and give her my helmet and jacket. I start the bike and we leave, the lapels of my charcoal blazer flapping in the air. The bike lacks a speedometer, and my eyes were teary from the wind, but my grin was as large as it was dumb.

The next morning, I woke up regretting a lot of things that night, except revisiting my old friend The Montage.

Hours: Lunch: Tuesday-Friday, 11:30 a.m.–2 p.m.; Dinner: Sunday-Thursday, 6 p.m.-2 a.m., Friday & Saturday, 6 p.m.-4 a.m.

The opinions expressed within are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of pdxguide.com or The Columbian Publishing Co.